Saturday, April 01, 2006
Excellent April Fools joke from the Guardian. Must admit I did believe it at first but Chris Martin re-recording Talk as Talk to David was a step too far and suddenly it dawned on me...
Friday, March 31, 2006
Annie Mac's dance music show on BBC Radio 1 really is a pleasure to listen to and I recommend it to anyone with leanings towards doof doof music. Her enthusiasm for the music and the clubbing lifestyle is very infectious....Go Annie!
A song is about to go to the top of the charts in the UK on download sales alone. This is surely a watershed moment in music with downloads now beginning to threaten the existance of CD singles. The scam of the rip off CD single is slowly coming to an end....
Add together the infamous British incomptence and extremely slow building practices from the Aussies (I mean HOW long has it taken to build Southern Cross station?) and what do you get? An $80million loss and no Wembley until 2007! Nice. Next time just get the bloody Germans to do it eh?
Save our BYOs! A restaurant in Sydney is now charging it's patrons a $25 A BOTTLE corkage fee. Mind you this is the City where a one day travelcard costs $15 so it's hardly surprising....
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Even by her usual standards yesterday's op-ed piece in The Australian from Janet Albrechtsen is breaktaking in it's chutzpah. Instead of writing about the real villians in the AWB scandal - the AWB Management/DFAT/Government Ministers - she took this opportunity to lay into those namby pamby lily livered liberals who promote corporate responsibility. Yes, once again those damned bleeding hearts are the real problem! Not the men who put profits before ethics or Government ministers who turned a blind eye to illegal activities.
The problem with Janet is that she is so blinded by her hatred of the 'left' that she fails to see what is right in front of her eyes.
The problem with Janet is that she is so blinded by her hatred of the 'left' that she fails to see what is right in front of her eyes.
The wife and I went to Taxi last night to celebrate our third wedding anniversary (ah, bless). Was a sensational meal, as to be expected from the Restaurant of the year, and a really nice ambiance about the place. I had deepfried GarFish with a Pink Grapefruit jus to start, she had a Crayfish cannelloni. Mains were Wagyu Porterhouse steak for me and twice cooked duck for her and we finished it off with the divine chocolate plate for two.
I recommend a visit there for sure although it is not as spectacular as Ezard where I found the service to be more attentive and the food slightly better cooked.
I recommend a visit there for sure although it is not as spectacular as Ezard where I found the service to be more attentive and the food slightly better cooked.
Details of the preparation Madonna is putting into her upcoming tour. Let's hope she blesses us down under with a visit!
This is most amusing. Seems someone has made a statue of Britney Spears but has completely forgotten to make it actually look like her! Excellent work.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Cocaine Kate is helping Lindsay Lohan get her life back on track. Mmmm....Great role model to follow Lindsay! Are you going to be getting pearls of wisdom dispensed at you as well from Kate's sensible boyfriend - uberbore Pete Doherty? Before you know it you'll be shooting up in some dingy starwell in Hoxton and people will start pretending that you are interesting. Good luck with your rehab though - I'd say going into retox with those two is like taking lessons from Kevin Federline on how to be a good husband.
If you have an interest in US politics (unlikely I know) then this is essential reading from The Nation.... Nice to see those 'compassionate' conservatives, the Republicans taking advantage of Katrina's devastating effect on New Orleans.
The debate over Nine's coverage of the games continues.... This is quite an frank exchange of views between Eddie Maguire (MD of Channel Nine) and The Age's TV Critic. Eddie has some fair points but unfortunately Warneke does not question him on the sheer amount of ad breaks that were on during the games and the numerous occassions when they cut away from live sport to show these ads. Maguire has to be happy, his channel has no doubt made shitloads of cash out of this whilst the viewing public have been short changed once again.
Welcome to Howard's new Australia where people can be sacked on a whim and given no redundancy payouts. People have already been sacked with no explanation a mere 2 days after the new IR laws come in. Welcome to a world where the working poor have no rights and no recourse to justice. Let's hope that those in the 'burbs are also effected so they can turn their wrath on this lame excuse for a government and boot them out at the next election.
What's Tim Blair's genius solution to the problem of women being sexually assaulted? Guns. Yes, Guns. Those things that kill people. Brilliant Tim! We might have 1% less sexual assaults but a whole lot more murders instead. Wouldn't that be swell?
Andrew Sullivan mentioned this in his blog yesterday and I thought it worth repeating on here. IS Tom Cruise about to challenge Michael Jackson for the title of the weirdest man in showbusiness?
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Shrink you bastards...
I spotted a superb letter in today's Age:
I SAT in a city park yesterday morning, trying in vain to appreciate the "souvenir edition" of The Age to mark the end of the Commonwealth Games. Poster-sized pages flapped in the breeze; whole sections escaped my grasp and literally flew away. Opposite me, an elderly couple enjoyed their Herald Sun with quiet dignity. I refuse to be made a laughing stock. For God's sake, go tabloid.
Sam McMillan, Richmond
I couldn't agree anymore Sam McMillan. For God's sake Andrew Jaspan, DO IT! Is the publishing of this letter the first stage of an under the radar campaign by the Age to soften its readers up to the prospect of turning tabloid? I live in hope....
I SAT in a city park yesterday morning, trying in vain to appreciate the "souvenir edition" of The Age to mark the end of the Commonwealth Games. Poster-sized pages flapped in the breeze; whole sections escaped my grasp and literally flew away. Opposite me, an elderly couple enjoyed their Herald Sun with quiet dignity. I refuse to be made a laughing stock. For God's sake, go tabloid.
Sam McMillan, Richmond
I couldn't agree anymore Sam McMillan. For God's sake Andrew Jaspan, DO IT! Is the publishing of this letter the first stage of an under the radar campaign by the Age to soften its readers up to the prospect of turning tabloid? I live in hope....
Fernando V Alexis
So I promised I would keep you all up to date with the story of how our cats are getting along. Those who know us know that we have a rather curmudgeonly but utterly adorable cat called Fernando. Here is a picture of him in a big pile of leaves in our backyard:
We got Fernando from the Save A Dog scheme in Malvern, Melbourne. They have loads of cats and dogs that have been picked up by the council warden and have been abandoned by their owners. You can either adopt the animals or foster them until they find permanent homes. We ended up adopting Fernando but because the shelter desperately needs foster families we agreed to foster a small black cat called Layla.
Now, Fernando didn't like Layla. In fact he hated her and there wasn't a day went by when he wasn't trying to tear her apart from limb to limb. So although we were sad when Layla left we were happy for her as it meant she would finally be able to spend her days without the fear of being brutally killed.
Then a week ago we got a call from Save the Dog asking if we could foster another as there were so many cats there in need of homes. We agreed on the proviso that we could return the cat if, as was likely, Fernando didn't like it. We picked up the new cat, Alexis, on Saturday. She is a gorgeous looking creature and very very elegant and princess like. Here's a rather unflattering picture of her:
I expected more cat inspired fireworks in my backyard so thought it would be an interesting addition to my blog to let you know how they are getting along but I'm afraid it's been somewhat of a non story.
When they first met Alexis hissed at him in that terrifying way that cats do. Fernando snarled a little but then just couldn't be arsed and just slumped on the floor. And that's been the end of their antagonism really. Fernando has been watching her every move though and appears to be following a containment policy in much the same way Clinton contained Saddam. Maybe Fernando realised the errors of his George W Bush (i.e. attack first, think later) methods with Layla and has decided he has better things to do with his time (like sleep).
Hell, they even shared a bed with each other last night. Admittedly at opposite ends but who knows it could be the start of something beautiful. I'll keep you updated if anything significant happens but it looks as if I am going to have to think of something else to fill this webpage up with. Bugger.
We got Fernando from the Save A Dog scheme in Malvern, Melbourne. They have loads of cats and dogs that have been picked up by the council warden and have been abandoned by their owners. You can either adopt the animals or foster them until they find permanent homes. We ended up adopting Fernando but because the shelter desperately needs foster families we agreed to foster a small black cat called Layla.
Now, Fernando didn't like Layla. In fact he hated her and there wasn't a day went by when he wasn't trying to tear her apart from limb to limb. So although we were sad when Layla left we were happy for her as it meant she would finally be able to spend her days without the fear of being brutally killed.
Then a week ago we got a call from Save the Dog asking if we could foster another as there were so many cats there in need of homes. We agreed on the proviso that we could return the cat if, as was likely, Fernando didn't like it. We picked up the new cat, Alexis, on Saturday. She is a gorgeous looking creature and very very elegant and princess like. Here's a rather unflattering picture of her:
I expected more cat inspired fireworks in my backyard so thought it would be an interesting addition to my blog to let you know how they are getting along but I'm afraid it's been somewhat of a non story.
When they first met Alexis hissed at him in that terrifying way that cats do. Fernando snarled a little but then just couldn't be arsed and just slumped on the floor. And that's been the end of their antagonism really. Fernando has been watching her every move though and appears to be following a containment policy in much the same way Clinton contained Saddam. Maybe Fernando realised the errors of his George W Bush (i.e. attack first, think later) methods with Layla and has decided he has better things to do with his time (like sleep).
Hell, they even shared a bed with each other last night. Admittedly at opposite ends but who knows it could be the start of something beautiful. I'll keep you updated if anything significant happens but it looks as if I am going to have to think of something else to fill this webpage up with. Bugger.
David Aaronovitch speaks sense about the smoking in public places bans being enacted across the world....
Bananas
So, due to a bit of wind up north, Australia is about to imminently run out of bananas. How has that effected imported bananas though you might reasonably ask? Well it hasn't but bananas are banned from being imported into Australia (yes, that's Australia - a 'free market' economy) due to the dubious reason of wanting to keep exotic bugs out of the country. The real reason though lies in the fact that the Nationals and Liberal party want to keep their banana growing mates happy up in QLD by preventing competition in this sector (competition being an anathema in many sectors of the Australian economy). So we, the consumer, suffer again and we now have no bananas to eat. What a load of balls. The Agriculture minister, Peter McGuaran says this:
"People will have to understand that their unsatisfied yearnings for bananas are infinitesimal compared to the suffering and hardship of the banana growers of north Queensland." "We all have to put it into that context and bear the pain for the next nine to 12 months."
No one has even begin to suggest that our suffering is comparable to theirs. But all we ask for, you dimwit, is that you lift the ban on imports for the next year so we can get our potassium & smoothie fix When the QLD bananas come back online we can revert back to your Sovietesque system of import control and you can tell the dirty phillipinos to fuck off again. But until then let the philipinos flood the country with their produce - we need bananas god damn it!
"People will have to understand that their unsatisfied yearnings for bananas are infinitesimal compared to the suffering and hardship of the banana growers of north Queensland." "We all have to put it into that context and bear the pain for the next nine to 12 months."
No one has even begin to suggest that our suffering is comparable to theirs. But all we ask for, you dimwit, is that you lift the ban on imports for the next year so we can get our potassium & smoothie fix When the QLD bananas come back online we can revert back to your Sovietesque system of import control and you can tell the dirty phillipinos to fuck off again. But until then let the philipinos flood the country with their produce - we need bananas god damn it!
Wrong Uns Watch Part 1
Love this story from today's Guardian. Pure hilarity. I love the way the girl got a 2 year ban from driving as her punishment even though she was under the legal driving age. A real detterent that is then! lol Choice quote from the article:
Black had arrived at court armed with eggs — to pelt photographers with — and her mother, Nora, also contributed to the day's events by sticking out her bottom for the cameras and saying "film this".
I wonder where the girl gets it from? ha ha ha
Oh my sweet Britney. What are you doing? You shouldn't be buying Kevin Fish & Chips for his birthday dinner let alone splashing out $60K on him! What does he have though that keeps her going back to him? Answers on a postcard please.
Canadian lunatic Mark Steyn speaks some sense for once. The problem that he has is that he can only ever see fault on the Islamic side and seems to never apportion any blame for the current state of the world on US foreign policy over the past 50 years. To have such a one dimensional view of the 'clash of civilisations' is naive and blinkered. But he does write funny columns, in a way that only offensive rightwing people ever can....
Monday, March 27, 2006
Bugger the 202 medals Australia won at the ad break games - THIS is something the country should be genuinely proud of. Go on s'trya!
So the 'Australian and Lets Go To An Ad Break Games' are over. Think we can all agree what a wonderful job Channel 9 did in their coverage eh? Apparently a few medals were won by countries other than Australia and people are still scanning the footage to see if they can locate that lesser-spotted creature - an interview with a non Australian athlete. I don't rate their chances I am afraid.
One interesting statistic was presented by ABC's The Offsiders yesterday and that is this:
Gold Medals won in Swimming
Australia 17
Great Britain 15 (When you put England, Scotland, Wales etc together)
Not quite the landslide of golds that Channel Nine would have you believe exsisted. Now, I think having England, Scotland and Wales competing seperately is usually a good idea as I don't then have to feign supporting a Scot simply because he is competing as a British athlete, but surely it'd be worth all teaming up just for one games so we can beat the Aussies in the pool. Let's put our petty differences aside and focus on beating the real enemy eh?
One interesting statistic was presented by ABC's The Offsiders yesterday and that is this:
Gold Medals won in Swimming
Australia 17
Great Britain 15 (When you put England, Scotland, Wales etc together)
Not quite the landslide of golds that Channel Nine would have you believe exsisted. Now, I think having England, Scotland and Wales competing seperately is usually a good idea as I don't then have to feign supporting a Scot simply because he is competing as a British athlete, but surely it'd be worth all teaming up just for one games so we can beat the Aussies in the pool. Let's put our petty differences aside and focus on beating the real enemy eh?
So, I wasted 2 hours of my life and $20 of my wife's money by going to the cinema and watching the new Woody Allen film Match Point (the 'best film he's made for a very long time' according to David Stratton from ABC's At The Movies) at the weekend.
Now, I am not a film snob - I have remarkably philistine tastes when it comes to the big screen, I am easily pleased. Hell, I even liked Love Actually for christsakes. But every now and again there comes along a film that is is so mind-numbingly, bowel achingly bad that even I don't like it!
The plot revolves around an Irish tennis coach (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) who marries into an English Upper Class family and has an affair with a struggling American Actress (Scarlett Johanssen). When the affair with Scarlett Johansson looks like it will destroy his place within the upper classes he takes drastic action. (I won't ruin the plot as some of you may still see it I guess...please don't though...you'll never forgive yourself).
You know you're onto a loser in a film when within the first 5 minutes of it your film going partner leans over and says 'his [Jonathan Rhys Meyers] acting is shocking', I mean surely it should take at least 10-15 minutes to formulate such an opinion but no it was there for all to see the second he started speaking. I mean this guy is meant to be Irish but sounds more like a home counties cunt who has been on a few stag parties to Dublin. Jesus.
Is Jonathan Rhys Meyers Irish? I have no idea having never heard of him before. He speaks throughout the film in that loud whisper way, all earnest and whimpering. Urgh. The acting from all is diabolical but Scarlett Johansson at least attempts to act during parts of it and looks divine throughout. The bint who plays Meyer's wife is one of the most irritating characters I've seen in a film since Jar Jar Binks appeared on Star Wars.
The dialogue is consistently cringeworthy with several lines making me physically squirm in my seat, at times people laughed out loud in the cinema but this is a film that has no intentionally funny lines so I could only guess that they (like me) were laughing at the sheer FUCKMETHISISRUBBISHness of it all.
I would guess that Woody Allen has spent about 12 minutes in the presence of English people before if this is seriously how he thinks they behave and speak. Do English Upper Class people really call their father 'papa'???
The plot itself is a feasible one but the pace of the film completely lets it down. The first half is way too slow and the second half is way too fast with Meyers turning from someone who wants to spend the rest of his life with Johansson to someone who wants to kill her. IT IS LUDICROUS. Other parts of the story simply do not ring true. Can someone who has NO experience in the financial sector be put into a senior job just because they are fucking the MD's daughter? Would someone who worked at a desk in an open plan office have a fucking chaffeur? How can someone earning fuck all in shop afford to rent a flat in Notting Hill? Would the police give up on persuing a line in a murder case just because someone has asked them not to for fear of his wife finding out about his affair? Etc etc
It is impossible to emphasize with any of the characters because of two reasons:
1) They are either posh twats
or
2) They are cunts
In the end you just couldn't care less about the sorry lot of them. The only thing you care about is the fact that you will never get the 2 hours of your life back that you wasted watching this travesty of a movie.
Now, I am not a film snob - I have remarkably philistine tastes when it comes to the big screen, I am easily pleased. Hell, I even liked Love Actually for christsakes. But every now and again there comes along a film that is is so mind-numbingly, bowel achingly bad that even I don't like it!
The plot revolves around an Irish tennis coach (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) who marries into an English Upper Class family and has an affair with a struggling American Actress (Scarlett Johanssen). When the affair with Scarlett Johansson looks like it will destroy his place within the upper classes he takes drastic action. (I won't ruin the plot as some of you may still see it I guess...please don't though...you'll never forgive yourself).
You know you're onto a loser in a film when within the first 5 minutes of it your film going partner leans over and says 'his [Jonathan Rhys Meyers] acting is shocking', I mean surely it should take at least 10-15 minutes to formulate such an opinion but no it was there for all to see the second he started speaking. I mean this guy is meant to be Irish but sounds more like a home counties cunt who has been on a few stag parties to Dublin. Jesus.
Is Jonathan Rhys Meyers Irish? I have no idea having never heard of him before. He speaks throughout the film in that loud whisper way, all earnest and whimpering. Urgh. The acting from all is diabolical but Scarlett Johansson at least attempts to act during parts of it and looks divine throughout. The bint who plays Meyer's wife is one of the most irritating characters I've seen in a film since Jar Jar Binks appeared on Star Wars.
The dialogue is consistently cringeworthy with several lines making me physically squirm in my seat, at times people laughed out loud in the cinema but this is a film that has no intentionally funny lines so I could only guess that they (like me) were laughing at the sheer FUCKMETHISISRUBBISHness of it all.
I would guess that Woody Allen has spent about 12 minutes in the presence of English people before if this is seriously how he thinks they behave and speak. Do English Upper Class people really call their father 'papa'???
The plot itself is a feasible one but the pace of the film completely lets it down. The first half is way too slow and the second half is way too fast with Meyers turning from someone who wants to spend the rest of his life with Johansson to someone who wants to kill her. IT IS LUDICROUS. Other parts of the story simply do not ring true. Can someone who has NO experience in the financial sector be put into a senior job just because they are fucking the MD's daughter? Would someone who worked at a desk in an open plan office have a fucking chaffeur? How can someone earning fuck all in shop afford to rent a flat in Notting Hill? Would the police give up on persuing a line in a murder case just because someone has asked them not to for fear of his wife finding out about his affair? Etc etc
It is impossible to emphasize with any of the characters because of two reasons:
1) They are either posh twats
or
2) They are cunts
In the end you just couldn't care less about the sorry lot of them. The only thing you care about is the fact that you will never get the 2 hours of your life back that you wasted watching this travesty of a movie.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Superb column from Will Hutton in today's Observer regarding Tony Blair. Couldn't agree anymore with him....
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