Monday, May 14, 2007

One rock night runs in Ibiza this year. Next!

Another year, another tired, fatuous 'Rock music takes over Ibiza' article from The Guardian.

This was last year's effort, this is this year's.

Obviously, the publicists from Ibiza Rocks are doing their jobs right as they have managed to get exactly the same story written in a UK national newspaper two years in a row to promote their night.

And what an utter non story it is too. So, there will be ONE night on the island this year that will showcase live performances from Sheffield guitar heroes the Arctic Monkeys and dance act LCD Soundsystem amongst others. This somehow, well according to the 'Ibiza Rocks' press release no doubt, signals the ""indie invasion" of the island" and shows that "the Balearic island appears to be loosening its embrace of superstar DJs and 8,000-venue clubs."

What a load of utter utter bollocks.

Firstly, one of the acts mentioned in this avalanche of rock acts is LCD Soundsystem. You know, the DANCE act. Secondly, this is one night out of many on the island. 99.9% of those nights are devoted to dance music - 5,000 people a night at Amnesia, 5,000 at Space, 4,000 at Pacha, 3,000 at Eden, 2,000 at El Divino, 500 at DC10, 8,000 at Manumission. All listening and dancing to traditional 4 to the floor dance music. Because the odd DJ may play a bootleg of a rock tune this is also seen as evidence that rock music is taking over the most celebrated dance music mecca in the world, "big-named DJs are expected to incorporate "electro-rock" into their sets this summer." What. A. Load. Of. Arse.

By far the most laughable part of this piss poor excuse for journalism is the inclusion of the following quote from cunthead Andy McKay (the guy who introduced those grim sex shows to Manumission):

"Perhaps in time people might consider the west end of San Antonio as akin to Camden," added Mr McKay. "What's happened to guitar music has forced its way onto Ibiza and now I think it's going to take over."

Now, is he taking the piss or what? Come to think of it though the West End of San An is already like Camden in many regards: open drug dealing, people vomiting and pissing onto the streets, shops selling cheap crap (Camden Market anyone?) and a general sense of grimness and dirtiness.

We've heard all this before from The Guardian of course who appear to have some kind of weird 'the end is nigh' obsession with club culture. If the Britpop movement of the mid nineties failed to convert Ibiza to the wonders of the guitar I seriously doubt that it is likely to happen now or ever. How many more years does dance music & club culture have to be phenomenally successful before the twats at The Guardian realise that a) it isn't going to die, b) it doesn't need 'saving' by the rock scene?