Leave her alone!

Apparently there is a bit of Britney backlash going on at the moment amongst her fans regarding her partying antics with Ms Hilton and her seeming inability to wear panties.

Can't say I am one of those who finds her behaviour repellent - yeah sure she has kids, but pfft to them quite frankly. I'm sure they've got a perfectly capable nanny looking after them. Who cares?

What do these people want? Do they want her to return to the life of domestic drudgery she led with Kevin? No way. All Britney fans should be pleased that she has shaped up and taken up her lapsed membership of the hedonists club again. Think about it - do we want to see Britney in baggy clothes or in sexy dresses with her minge showing? Clearly there is no option (well, maybe sexy dresses WITH knickers would be better but hey, beggars can't be choosers).

All those who are jumping good ship Britney seem to be confused. Surely they didn't love her originally for her svelte sophistication, her intelligence and her business nous? Surely they all loved the bad girl, trailer park trash spirit within her? Well people she's now fully embracing that side of her personality and it's all hanging out, literally.

Let her have her 'I've just filed for divorce and I'm going to get hammered' phase. It'll pass. Her and Paris will fall out. She'll start releasing songs again and being successful. And the only lips we'll see will be those that are singing.

More of Britney's beaver

Except it's not. She is clearly wearing underwear.

Pffft

Britney gets her beaver out.

Dear Lord.

Britney seems to keep forgetting to put her knickers on. Click here.

Definitely NOT suitable for work!

Hugh Muir, of the Guardian, write a good piece today about British whingeing about the Olympics. Bravo!

Sentenced

The two men convicted of the murder of Thomas ap Rhys Pryce, which I discussed yesterday, have been sentenced to between 17 and 21 years in prison, minimum. They still have expressed no remorse for the hideous crime they have committed and have shown no sympathy towards the devastated relatives and fiance of Thomas ap Rhys Pryce.

You can read Adele Eastman's (Tom's fiancee) victim statement here - truly heartbreaking stuff. Adele Eastman is putting her grief and sorrow to good use and has set up the Tom ap Rhys Pryce Memorial Trust - money donated to it will be used to enable individuals, who could not otherwise afford it, to achieve their potential by gaining access to appropriate educational facilities. If this trust can only save one more future Tom ap Rhys Pryce then it will be a success.

Crossing the road

Martin Samuel pens a good rant in today's Times about the laws against jaywalking that exist here in Australia. Now lots of people like ranting about the 'nanny state' but in reality they simply are yearning for a world in which they can do as they please regardless of the consequences for others. However, I must join the antagonists of the nanny statists in condemning laws that seek to prevent adults crossing the roads when and as they see fit. We all grew up to learn the green cross code - look right, look left erm...erm...err. Oh well whatever it was, it's been hard wired into my head so that I know myself when it is sensible to cross a road and when it is sensible to wait.

For some reason, governments in Australia have decided that we can't be trusted to perform this most basic of cognitive functions and if we dare cross the road in the city away from a pedestrian crossing with a green man flashing we could be fined $100. Ah, Western freedom - what a wonderful thing it is! The sad thing is that so many people just blindly accept this patronising nonsense and duly stand at crossings wasting away their lives waiting for the lights to change - even when the nearest car is about 210km away. I love the look on people's faces when I walk out without *gasp* waiting for the lights to change. Honestly, judging by some people's expressions you would think that I had been convicted of raping the rotting corpse of Princess Diana rather than just having a belligerent attitude to local laws regarding road usage.

Councils and governments continually seek to legislate to prevent 'accidents' happening. The problem with this approach is that very few of these 'accidents' are real accidents. They are acts of carelessness or stupidity and you can't legislate against that no matter how hard you try.

I've never been a member of the 'string em up and flog em brigade'. I firmly believe that prison should be used primarily to rehabilitate people rather than to punish them. But sometimes people commit crimes that are so callous, so evil and so heartless that the perpetrators should be permanently denied liberty. This is one of those cases where the convicted should spent the rest of their lives locked up - everyone makes choices in life, if you make a choice that these two blokes did then society can also make a choice - to end your liberty for good. This is one of those rare cases where life should mean life.

Paris and Britney

New Weekly reports that Britney and Paris are new best friends and 'friends' of Britney are worried about Paris' influence on her. One of my favourite quotes from the article is:

The dishevelled duo posed for photographs throughout the night, images that document Britney's transformation from presentable mum-of-two to knickerless drunk.

Eh? 'Presentable mum-of-two'? When exactly was that? Just before Sean cracked his skull or just after she nearly dropped him in front of photographers whilst carrying a glass (of booze?) in her other hand? Or was it whilst she was driving with him on her lap? Let's face it, she has never been a presentable mum - and nor do we want her to be.

I reckon Madonna should pack David back to Malawi and sweep into Malibu Beach and adopt Britney's two babies. Her noble actions will save Britney a whole lot of babysitter fees which she can put to good use and spend whilst out partying with Paris. Problem solved. Sure David will be back to a life of subsistence but Britney will be free to be Britney and surely that is a more worthwhile cause to support?

MX Beer

It's all too easy and all too unoriginal to point to the increasing trivialisation of news that we see in the tabloid press and on the television every day. But never one to pass up an easy and obvious target I thought I would bring to your attention to the front cover of Melbourne's MX 'news'paper which was published yesterday. MX, for my English readers, is the Australian equivalent of thelondonpaper - a brief read for the journey home after work.

Now free papers are not known for the investigative journalism or their in-depth analysis but MX manages to plumb new depths of inanity with its sections, 'Boring but important' - a single column where all the real news of the day goes, and 'Doom and Gloom', where you'll find information about the Iraq war, earthquakes and other disasters.

But hey, it's only meant for a 20 minute train ride and there is nothing wrong with inanity after a hard day's slog at the office. But yesterday it reached levels of triviality that even I could not have forseen.

We've just had a state election here in Melbourne. Being English I'd never experienced an election of this level before and its safe to say that it wasn't exactly the most exciting political competition I have ever witnessed. I think voting in a state election is rather like the staff at ACME Paper Ltd voting for who should be the next middle manager in charge of the admin department. Sure, there might be a slight variation in paperclip policy but the overall thrust of the political climate and country is still controlled by the CEO and Director, messrs Howard and Costello. Anyway, to those who don't know, the Labor Party won and so even though it was only a state election I took great satisfaction in seeing the Liberals get a kicking - hurrah!

Anyway, I digress. Now, in fairness to federalism there were some reasonably important issues at the election - water, education, health, how many paperclips should be ordered etc. So what did MX decide to splash on their front page after Labor's historic third term victory? The fact that the Liberal vote increased by a paltry 0.2%? No. The fact that Labor won by such a margin that it looks likely they'll be in office till 2014? No.

This is what MX put on their front page:


Yes, the front page the day after the election concentrates on what really matters - what beer is the Victorian premier Steve Bracks drinking? Oh my god! It's from New South Wales - now there's a hot scoop, hold the press! Why bother publishing any proper news regarding the election when we can simply trot out yet another spin on that boring, done before, please please god make it stop, story about the rivalry between Melbourne V Sydney. Now there's an original thought.

I meanwhile will continue to bring my readers a diverse range of cutting analysis and insight. Watch out for my next post - Britney and Paris in lesbian romp! Now, that's original!