What am I talking about? The war in Iraq? Nope. The Liberal Party's new media laws? Nope. Global Warming? Afraid not. Global Poverty? Nope, it's far more serious than that.
No, it's time for all right minded, sane people to stand up and be counted because this madness has to be stopped.
I am, of course, talking about the crime against fashion, commonsense and humanity that is the Croc shoe:
Lovely aren't they? I don't know if they've spread their evil outside of Australia yet (please god let this only be a local trend) but I can't take it anymore. Why on Earth are people wearing these monstrosities? Thongs/Flip Flops are cool - they look good, they keep your feet cool in the summer, they go with lots of clothes.
Crocs look like the type of shoe that would be dished out to a busload of mental psychotics to wear on their annual day trip outside of the asylum. After being strapped securely to a patient's foot the wearer can't then use their toenails to stab an innocent passerby to death and the rubber casing means that self harm via shoewear is also negated.
I mean seriously. Come on people! Do you honestly think these look remotely good?? You look like a twat! Stop it. Have some dignity and go and burn them as quickly as you can. Someone is getting rich because you think its cool to wear these on your feet.
If any of my readers wear these then please go into the comments section and leave an explanation of why. I need reasons goddamit. I have already excluded 'because they look good' (simply not possible) 'because they keep my feet cool in the summer' (no, plastic makes your feet sweat), because they are like, you know, really right on and hippy-ish (well apart from the fact they are made from a fossil fuel). So come on, someone come on here and justify their existence! I am all ears.
