Australia are through

I must admit, as an Englishman, my feelings about the prospect of Australia doing well in the World Cup were slightly mixed. I would like football to get bigger here for sure and for the standard of the A League to improve; Australia doing well in the World Cup will surely help this. But there was still a part of me, unable to escape that age old Aussie V Pom rivalry, that simply wanted them to get walloped. But I must say that this desire has been completely vanquished since the tournament started. Why? Because they are playing the kind of football I really like - pacy, direct, passionate, committed football. Exactly the kind of football that England should be playing.

Maybe Sven could go along and take notes at the Australia V Italy match? He'd see something called 'passing' happening. Yes 'passing', spelt 'P A S S I N G'. It's when one player gets the ball and kicks it to another of his team mates. Strange huh? What Sven will also notice is that the ball travels along the floor in the majority of these 'passes'. It isn't continually twatted 60ft into the air in the vain hope that some lanky cunt at the other end of the field can get his head on it.

Another phenomena Sven may detect is what the Aussies call 'passion'. This is something that has been AWOL from the England team since 1996 but basically refers to a deep seated desperate desire to win. That's 'W I N', Sven. Other novelties he will see in action include 'self belief', 'pace' and the most important one, 'good management'. Make sure you write that last one down eh Sven and study it carefully.

Anyway, onto Australia who were excellent against the Croats this morning. The match encapsulated for me everything that is great about football - the drama, the unbearable tension, the release of passion and of course the shit refereeing. What the fuck was Graham Poll doing? Had he decided before hand to unilaterally change the rules of the game?

'Well, I was looking through the rule book and I thought to myself why not give players 3 yellow cards before I demand they are sent off? I mean come on, it's time to shake this game up! I'll try it out at some tinpot tournament where the results don't matter.'

What would have happened had the Croatian who should have been sent off (as he had collected 2 yellows) scored? Would the goal have stood? If it had stood then would the result of the match been allowed to stand or would it have been replayed? Shambles.

Poll also missed two blatant penalties for Australia including a handball offence by the Croats which was identical to the one they committed in the first half and which was punished by Poll with a penalty to Australia.

But the most laughable of all his errors was blowing the whistle for full time as the ball crossed the Croat goal line (from a Tim Cahill shot). Yes, he blew the whistle mid shot. Simply unbelievable. Australia should have won that match 3-2 but the records will always show a 2-2 draw.

Luckily, Australia went through anyway as a score draw was enough but just imagine if they hadn't. How much longer can FIFA resist in introducing instant video replays to assist in refereeing decisions? When fuckwits like Graham Poll are refereeing then the game can (and did) turn into a farce. The referee should never be the story of the game!

Anyway, onto the next round for Australia and they're up against the cunting Italians - my most loathed international side without doubt. So once I again I'll be supporting the Sheilaroos and I quite fancy putting a bet on them to reach the semi finals - after all, their potential quarter final opponents, should they get past Italy, will be either Switzerland or Ukraine.

Meanwhile, I'll be asking my money back for my bet on England and will desperately hope that Sven does take notes at the next Australia match and passes them onto his successor, Steve McClaren.

Wanting England to play like Australia in the football. What the fuck is going on?

It's all Labor's fault!

I won't go on about this because frankly I am too tired to. But I did notice an incredible editorial in yesterdays Australian. It talks about the Government's proposed changes to parliamentary procedures which will mean that oversight of it's legislation will be reduced. Now The Australian rightly thinks that these changes are bad for Australian democracy, which they are. But guess who they apportion blame to? Howard? No, don't be silly. The Liberal Party, yes slightly. But of course the real villians are Labor! Honestly, you couldn't make this stuff up. Choice quote:

'The major obstacle to the Senate carrying out its review role is less Senator Minchin's planned cuts than that the Howard Government controls both houses of parliament. That it does so can be sheeted home to Mark Latham's disastrous leadership of the Labor Party at the 2004 poll. If John Howard is in a position to steamroll legislation through the Senate, the ALP must accept much of the blame. The fact that non-government parties form the Senate minority means they lack the numbers to set up select inquiries into matters of national concern.'

Simply unbelievable. I need say no more.

Poverty Wage

A proposed minimum wage rise in the US has been voted down by the Republicans.

The current minimum wage in the US is $5.15 which is £2.79 OR AUD$6.95!!!

What a sad indictment of the state of US society that is.

Reason to be cheerful

It looks as if the liberal wing of the Liberal Party has won the day over Howard's proposed capitulation to Indonesia.

Hurrah!

Anti Porn

Look's like the Government has been rummaging around the back of it's sofa for small change again as it has found a whopping $116 million to spend on anti-porn filters to 'protect' children from the evils of internet pornography.

Surely if people want the internet in their homes it is their responsibility to buy filters if they are worried about their children logging onto www.bangmyass.com ? Why should I have to pay for this addition to their IT set up? Once again the government is subsidising services that should be paid for by the individual while things like education and health are left wanting. Hey, my future child may have debts of $30K leaving uni but at least they never saw Silva Saint take one up the shitter! Thank you John Howard for helping the moral fortitude of the nation once again.

Sherman Yellen, of the Huffington Post, writes about Bush's anti gay marriage stance.

Ingerland Rant Part 2,00,000

For 45 minutes yesterday it looked as if England may actually not be quite as bad as I feared. They passed the ball reasonably well but still created very few clear cut chances. They were quicker and the Rooney effect was obvious. Joe Cole scored a screamer and all seemed right in the world again. Bring on Ecuador I thought!

They went off at halftime comfortably in front with the lion's share of possession and with Sweden denied any meaningful attempts on goal. Sven Goran Ericsson is seemingly incapable of inspiring his team during the half time break as when England came back out they were a different team. It was back to the standard of their 'performances' against Paraguay and T&T - passing was woeful, gave the ball away too much, long balls were being sprayed around here, there and nowhere. Even the area that has looked the strongest thus far, the defence, comically collapsed and in the end England were very lucky to get a draw against an average Sweden side.

Maybe, just maybe, the gods of football are smiling on England. I mean they have played abysmally but still finished top of the (poor) group and their opponents in the second round are the mighty Ecuador. That gets us to the Quarters without having to play a decent team. By the time we get there Rooney will be approaching full fitness and due to Owen's injury Ericsson will be forced to drop his, IT CLEARLY DOESN"T WORK YOU CUNT, rigid 4-4-2 formation. I reckon a 4-5-1 with Hargreaves the holding player and Lampard & Gerrard playing behind Rooney will be the best option.

Who knows with this formation England might actually start to play well. But let's be clear about this, if it does happen then it's in spite of Sven not because of him. Everyone knows that these players are more than capable of winning the World Cup (just as they were capable of winning Euro 2004 and WC 2002) but Sven simply cannot manage them, is too loyal to players out of form (David Beckham anyone?) and does not have the courage to embrace any other system than long ball when England come up against a resolute defence.

The crying shame is that this is the most talented English team in a generation and the potential is being squandered by a man who has collected £20million in wages so far but clearly does not know what the fuck he is doing. His replacement, Steve cunthead McClaren is a chip off the Ericsson block so don't expect things to get better. The FA should be ashamed of itself.

USA and 'Soccer'

The Guardian World Cup blog has an American perspective on the World Cup.

Lots of the usual anti 'soccer' nonesense from American contributors as well can be found below the main piece. My favourite is this:

'It's fun to watch the fans and soak in the excitement. But the game itself is not exciting to many Americans for the following reasons -
1. Not enough scoring 2. lack of control of the ball 3. the team that gets ahead almost always wins 4. ties.
What would help? Do away with offsides. Let players use their hands at least in some capacity (we do have four limbs). No ties.'

What would help? Does the most popular sport in the world need help I ask you? The arrogance of Americans in suggesting that the sport be changed just to meet their particular sensibilities is breathtaking. The fact is we like it that the Yanks don't like football. We don't want them to get involved and ruin it (yes that includes you Glazer), they can take their 'PKs' and their stupid club names and fuck right off*


* saying that, I did support USA the other day against the Italians. Not because I wanted America to win however, I just always enjoy seeing the cunting Italians lose.

Howard out of touch

It may have energised his far right bigoted base but it appears that Howard's shameful decision to overturn the ACT law re civil unions may not have been to his electoral advantage after all.

Taser that!

Tory MP David Davies believes that every house owner should be allowed to keep a taser gun to protect them from burglars. Tim Dowling of the Guardian takes a far more sensible view.

One of the central problems with Mr Davies' view is that he seems to believe that all home owners are nice, good upstanding members of society. Fact is if you gave them all Taser guns then it is undeniable that there would be many many instances where they would be used in dubious circumstances. Abusive husbands would start delighting in zapping their wives - much more fun than a simple punch in the face! noisy neighbours would be zapped by the old dear next door who was kept awake at 2am, troublesome toddlers could be silenced in the press of a button. It's also fairly certain that these weapons would be taken out of the home and used on other people to cause harm & distress. In fact, what's to stop a burglar stealing one of these and using it to aid their future twilight raids?

You can't create a more peaceful and crime free society by increasing it's weapons stash.

Ah for the days of the Taliban!

Have just read Stephen Lendman's review of the new John Pilger book on znet.com. It's the usual leftist stuff but one quote stood out in particular for me:

"Life was no bed of roses under the Taliban. But despite their ultra-puritanical ways and harsh treatment for the disobedient, at least they kept order and wouldn’t tolerate banditry, rape or murder."

Ah how nice of them! How did they keep 'order' I wonder?

Well they punished thieves by chopping their hands off for a start. Order was also kept in family affairs as they stoned to death women who committed adultery. Talking of women, weren't they the ones who were prevented from wearing what they liked and barred from attending schools?

The Taliban certainly did not tolerate banditry particularly bum banditry. Homosexuality was illegal and men were executed for committing sodomy.

Oh, but those glorious days are gone forever now as the Americans came in and ruined the party. Suddenly the country is awash with anal sex, adultery and educated women (sounds like Australia to me). Damn those yanks! If only the Taliban were back in power, they wouldn't tolerate this one bit! Hell no. They'd be stoning people left right and centre and hanging gays for fun. But hey, that'd be OK. Why? Well they'd be keeping order of course but more importantly, they hate the Yanks. And let's face it that's the real reason the likes of Lendmen get misty eyed in reminiscing about those good Taliban folks - all of their niggling faults (hey, who hasn't stoned an adulterer to death before) can be forgiven if they stand up to the big bully uncle Sam.

How has the left come to this?

Melanie Phillips Interview

Jackie Ashley of The Guardian interviews the increasingly bonkers 'Mad Mel' from the Daily Mail.

Interesting reading.

Britney. It's over.

Did anyone see the Britney interview the other day? Not a good look was it?

She chewed gum throughout the whole piece which was utterly bizzare. Did her PR team tell her to do this because they wanted her to look even more trashy than usual? Who advised her on her clothes? Someone from Primark? What was her make up about? Dear oh dear.

Britney - I have a simple plea to you. STOP GETTING FUCKING PREGNANT. Yes, motherhood may be a wonderful life affirming thing for you. But fuck, what about ME? What about the thousands of men around the world who are now crest fallen that the Britney they loved and adored seems to have vanished forever? For God's sake get Kevin's cock away from you, visit your local family planning clinic, stop chewing gum, lose some weight, wear skimpy clothes and start dancing seductively with snakes again. Or else.

Melisma - Smelisma

I always knew what it sounded like and I have ranted to the wife about it many a time. But up until now I haven't known the actual term to describe the way of singing that is taking over the world due to Mariah and Pop Idol. But thanks to Simon Castles, I am now aware that it is called Melisma.

He really has hit the nail on the head here for me. I am a pretty tolerant of trash TV, hell I am still watcing Big Brother even though all the good people have gone, but I cannot abide Australian/Amerian/Pop Idol or X Factor or any other of those talent free shows. The reason? It's the singing - it drives me absolutely bananas. The aforementioned article in The Age perfectly sums up why.

Down with Melisma!