The Rage Returns

If you live and work in London eventually you'll experience what I call 'The Rage'. It occurs when you use public transport in an attempt to get to and from work. When you first arrive in the Capital you are amazed that tubes run every 5 minutes and that public transport can be accessed from all the important parts of London, Hackney and South East London being the unimportant parts, obviously.

Then after using the service for a year or so something starts to change within you. The Rage starts to grow and grow - every time there is a cancellation, every time you feel more penned in than a battery hen, every time you hand over £75 a month to use the pisspoor service, every time someone pukes over the seats after a 'eavy night up West, every time you lose your bodyweight in sweat because there is no air conditioning on the train, every time the train gets stuck in the tunnel between Camden and Kentish Town for no discernible reason, every time the rail unions decide to go on strike again, every time you look on the web and find out a return from London to Manchester costs £200, every time you think 'fuck this I'll get a car' and realise there's nowhere to park, petrol costs £1 a litre and you have to pay £8 to drive into your own city centre etc etc etc you get the idea.

The Rage builds and builds and slowly consumes you. Not only are you paying through the nose for this daily torture but you are losing your dignity as you are shuttled around one of the World's greatest cities in conditions that would be illegal for livestock. You start the day pissed off, you end the day pissed off. It's not a healthy state of affairs. And I for one, was glad to leave it behind and say good riddance to The Rage.

Then I came to Melbourne and became a daily commuter on the city's rail network operated by Connex. Yes, Connex. The same company that used to run the South East train franchise in the UK and got stripped of its license because its service was so appalling.

However, the service in Melbourne seemed a world removed from that in England. In my experience 99% of trains ran on time and were not too packed, air conditioned and not full of marauding nutters. Until this month.

Suddenly trying to catch a train is like playing the lottery, only you have more chance of winning the lottery than your train actually running on time. At Flinders Street, one of Melbourne's major train stations, there is no information at all regarding cancellations or delays. You just have to stand there waiting and hoping. Everyday since 2nd January the trains have been completely fucked.

The first few days of this caused me minor anguish but then I felt it from the pit of my stomach. The Rage was returning. An unwelcome reminder of times past stood on a platform hearing the omonious announcement about 'signal failures'. It was back. Arrrgggghhhhh. Thanks Connex, you utter cunts for bringing The Rage back into my life. I thought it was banished forever but no, it was still there lying in wait for me. Will I ever be free?