Friday, May 26, 2006
Fuckwits all around me
Last week it was reported that this town in the US is trying to prevent unmarried couples with children living there and today I read in The Guardian that non-vegetarians are having a hard time trying to move into certain housing estates in Mumbai. If I had control over a town's population I would have just one rule - No Fuckwits. That would clearly rule out the bureaucrats from both of those places...
Thursday, May 25, 2006
The Australian - Knickers in a twist. Again.
Over at The Australian, they are getting more hot under the collar than a viagra-ed up Rex Hunt in a brothel at news that those crazy leftwing lunatics at the Education department in Western Australia have decided to incorporate modern music in their new high school syllabus.
The new co-ordinator for the course has decided to include PCs and turntables into the syllabus in an assumed effort to increase the relevancy of the course for the pupils. Richard Gill, thunders the report, describes the development as 'educational double speak and claptrap...It could just as easily be the curriculum for cooking as music' Eh? Ah yes, it'll be an easy mistake to make. Show the pupils a range of music making devices ranging from Guitairs to Violins to Turntables and whaddya know? The inclusion of those dastardly electronic things will confuse the students so much that they'll start turning up to class with the ingredients to make a Coq Au Vin.
The article bangs on, 'To describe turntables and computers as musical instruments was "totally meaningless" he [Richard Gill] said. " A computer is a computer and a turntable is a turntable. One of the points of education is to make the distinction"'
I mean, how thick does he think kids in Western Australia are? Clearly, if they are told that computers are instruments, they will naturally take this literally and start trying to play the keyboard like a piano. Oh! Just feel the emotion in that # key! Marvel at the sound the @ button makes! It's just like so musical man.
Or do you think, in reality, that the pupils will use a piece of software on their PC (these have been around for a number of years Mr Gill) which will enable them to create music? Just a thought or am I being far too leftwing & post modern for your liking?
The course co-ordinator rightly states that ' if there is a student from India who wants to play the tabla, they can and they wouldn't be able to do that in the old course'. The Australian sneers at this but what's wrong with it? Who is to say that playing the flute is better or worse than playing the tabla? Why is playing the guitar seen as 'better' than creating a tune on a PC?
The headline for the whole article is "Turntable music 'equal' to violins'. Well if I wrote that headline I would remove the quotation marks around equal. It is equal to violin music. Just because the Australian wishes the people of this country be bought up on nothing but Shakespeare and Beethoven doesn't mean that other forms of human creativity should be dismissed by writers who clearly do not know what they are talking about.
Richard Gill states that 'Reaction to music is a personal and subjective thing...' and that is absolutely correct. I'd rather wander around the streets of Baghdad wrapped in an American flag than listen to the flute or violin or fucking trombone for more than 10 mins. I imagine the staff on The Australian would rather french kiss Germaine Greer than listen to any of my doof doof music. That doesn't mean their music is 'better' it simply means that they have different personal taste to me. All opinions on music are subjective. All music has it's place.
Well, apart from Hard House. That's just rubbish.
The new co-ordinator for the course has decided to include PCs and turntables into the syllabus in an assumed effort to increase the relevancy of the course for the pupils. Richard Gill, thunders the report, describes the development as 'educational double speak and claptrap...It could just as easily be the curriculum for cooking as music' Eh? Ah yes, it'll be an easy mistake to make. Show the pupils a range of music making devices ranging from Guitairs to Violins to Turntables and whaddya know? The inclusion of those dastardly electronic things will confuse the students so much that they'll start turning up to class with the ingredients to make a Coq Au Vin.
The article bangs on, 'To describe turntables and computers as musical instruments was "totally meaningless" he [Richard Gill] said. " A computer is a computer and a turntable is a turntable. One of the points of education is to make the distinction"'
I mean, how thick does he think kids in Western Australia are? Clearly, if they are told that computers are instruments, they will naturally take this literally and start trying to play the keyboard like a piano. Oh! Just feel the emotion in that # key! Marvel at the sound the @ button makes! It's just like so musical man.
Or do you think, in reality, that the pupils will use a piece of software on their PC (these have been around for a number of years Mr Gill) which will enable them to create music? Just a thought or am I being far too leftwing & post modern for your liking?
The course co-ordinator rightly states that ' if there is a student from India who wants to play the tabla, they can and they wouldn't be able to do that in the old course'. The Australian sneers at this but what's wrong with it? Who is to say that playing the flute is better or worse than playing the tabla? Why is playing the guitar seen as 'better' than creating a tune on a PC?
The headline for the whole article is "Turntable music 'equal' to violins'. Well if I wrote that headline I would remove the quotation marks around equal. It is equal to violin music. Just because the Australian wishes the people of this country be bought up on nothing but Shakespeare and Beethoven doesn't mean that other forms of human creativity should be dismissed by writers who clearly do not know what they are talking about.
Richard Gill states that 'Reaction to music is a personal and subjective thing...' and that is absolutely correct. I'd rather wander around the streets of Baghdad wrapped in an American flag than listen to the flute or violin or fucking trombone for more than 10 mins. I imagine the staff on The Australian would rather french kiss Germaine Greer than listen to any of my doof doof music. That doesn't mean their music is 'better' it simply means that they have different personal taste to me. All opinions on music are subjective. All music has it's place.
Well, apart from Hard House. That's just rubbish.
Curing Homosexuality
This boggles the mind quite frankly.
And just think, CNN is the 'liberal' media outlet in the US. God help them all!
And just think, CNN is the 'liberal' media outlet in the US. God help them all!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Socialism comes to football
UEFA has proposed enforcing a salary cap scheme for European clubs as well as a requirement that they field a minimum amount of home born players in European matches.
Although I am against the quasi-communist system of sport economics that exists in AFL / Gridiron etc being applied to football I think these limited proposals are a good thing. And no, I'm not just saying that because Chelsea are now winning everything! Sport is not supposed to be a competition between a few billionaires - it's supposed to be a competition between athletes. Chelsea have Ambramovich and good luck to them but when they pay their star players in the region of
£130,000 a week the script for the season has already been written.
If the current system continues will a team other than Manchester United, Chelsea or Arsenal ever win the Premier League again? The answer is possibly, but only if that team manages to rope in a billionare who is willing to fund the challenge.
I am against drafts, I am against a closed market where players cannot be bought and sold. But a (reasonable) salary cap seems a sensible proposal to me. Chelsea can still pay Ballack his £130K a week but they would have to cut back in other positions to compensate for it. Let's be clear about this: Chelsea and Blackburn's Premier League titles were bought. Arsenal and Manchester United have a long, proud tradition in the top flight of English football and their wealth has been accumulated on the back of popular support and more importantly: results. If we want to see billionaires prevented from simply buying the title then action has to be taken.
Although I am against the quasi-communist system of sport economics that exists in AFL / Gridiron etc being applied to football I think these limited proposals are a good thing. And no, I'm not just saying that because Chelsea are now winning everything! Sport is not supposed to be a competition between a few billionaires - it's supposed to be a competition between athletes. Chelsea have Ambramovich and good luck to them but when they pay their star players in the region of
£130,000 a week the script for the season has already been written.
If the current system continues will a team other than Manchester United, Chelsea or Arsenal ever win the Premier League again? The answer is possibly, but only if that team manages to rope in a billionare who is willing to fund the challenge.
I am against drafts, I am against a closed market where players cannot be bought and sold. But a (reasonable) salary cap seems a sensible proposal to me. Chelsea can still pay Ballack his £130K a week but they would have to cut back in other positions to compensate for it. Let's be clear about this: Chelsea and Blackburn's Premier League titles were bought. Arsenal and Manchester United have a long, proud tradition in the top flight of English football and their wealth has been accumulated on the back of popular support and more importantly: results. If we want to see billionaires prevented from simply buying the title then action has to be taken.
Porn is to blame
Of course the reason why remote Aboriginal communities are descending into lawless chaos is not because of their lack of jobs, services, police, adequate housing and extreme poverty. No! Porn is to blame clearly. You can get rid of porn and alcohol from these places but the essential, fundamental problems still remain. It's just a simple solution to what is clearly a very complex problem. If you take away the porn and the booze you'll still have people living in third world conditions. Maybe it's time to examine whether these remote communities are viable anymore - if this lawlessness was occuring in white communities it would be stopped and stopped pretty damn quickly and I'm pretty sure banning porn would not be on the agenda.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Global Warming
Even Fox News now believes that Global Warming is fact. If the propaganda piece of the Right in the US believes it how long is it going to take for Howard & Bush to get it in their thick heads?
Meanwhile, a woman in the UK has been taken to court by Exeter Council for refusing to sort her rubbish and put it in the appropriate recycling bins. I say good on them, we all have a responsibility to do our bit for the environment and if she doesn't like it then tough shit. She doesn't live in a hermetically sealed cave (although she looks like she might) and so she should recognise that there are some things that we should all do, as members of society, in order to make the planet a better place to live on.
Meanwhile, a woman in the UK has been taken to court by Exeter Council for refusing to sort her rubbish and put it in the appropriate recycling bins. I say good on them, we all have a responsibility to do our bit for the environment and if she doesn't like it then tough shit. She doesn't live in a hermetically sealed cave (although she looks like she might) and so she should recognise that there are some things that we should all do, as members of society, in order to make the planet a better place to live on.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Evil Contributors
Polly Toynbee on the Guardian's 'Comment is Free' blog bemoans the rudeness of the contributors in the comments section. Choice quote:
'By the way, if anyone knows someone called Ian Birchall, do please tell me about him. He just sent me this email, all in capital letters, which would have been struck from this site: "You are a loathsome overpaid hypocrite. Nobody would miss you for 5 seconds if you were dead like your despicable shitball husband. I should like to see you in a cancer ward screaming with pain and vomiting blood.' His email is ian@ibirchall.wanadoo.co.uk. No, I didn't reply to that one'
Delightful eh?
'By the way, if anyone knows someone called Ian Birchall, do please tell me about him. He just sent me this email, all in capital letters, which would have been struck from this site: "You are a loathsome overpaid hypocrite. Nobody would miss you for 5 seconds if you were dead like your despicable shitball husband. I should like to see you in a cancer ward screaming with pain and vomiting blood.' His email is ian@ibirchall.wanadoo.co.uk. No, I didn't reply to that one'
Delightful eh?
Friday, May 19, 2006
Terrorist Trial
Faheem Khalid Lodhi's case in the trial currently being played out in a Sydney court is not exactly watertight is it?
Lodhi is accused of planning to bomb various sites around Sydney including Electricity substations and defence sites.
The defence asked why he had notes of how to make bombs lying around his house. According to his solicitor, Mr Boulten, he is just the inquisitive type:
"He was curious when he saw the information, perhaps foolishly he was interested," Mr Boulten said. "He, for no particular purpose, was attracted to it and wrote the details down. He had never subsequently paid attention to these notes."
Yeah, I must say it's a common thing for me too. In the midst of my Google searches for Paris Hilton and Britney I often stumble across sites like www.blowuptheinfadels.com where I accidentally come across instructions on how to make up bombs. And you know what I did upon hitting these sites? Well, the only logical thing that came to mind was to write the instructions and recipes down - why? Well, I'm just that kinda guy, I like things to be recorded and written down. Call it OCD if you will. No other reason, I promise.
When asked why he had a mobile phone account in a false name, Mr Lodhi stated that there was nothing untoward in this and doing such a thing was merely a 'bad habit' of Pakistani people. Eh?Picking your nose is a bad habit, biting your nails is a bad habit, smoking is a bad habit. But deliberately setting up a mobile phone account in a false name? That's a bad habit? I can just imagine it: 'Sorry Mr Vodafone, but everytime I fill in a contract I just can't help putting down a false name - I've tried everything - patches, hypnotism, I've even read "Allen Carr's Easyway to stop lying on Mobile Phone Contracts". But I just can't help it!'
And today comes the news that he lied about his name on various communications and of course it was just a mistake. Come on prosecutors - give the guy a break - everyone forgets their own name from time to time. I've lost count the amount of times I've called myself Dave or Simon or Martin. It's so easily done. Haven't you done it before? You haven't? Seriously? Shit.
I think the defence argument in this case is as strong as that expressed by men who go to Casualty with a broom sticks stuck up their arses. 'What happened?' asks the Nurse, "Well', replies the man', I was walking around naked and blow me but I fell over and landed straight on this lubricated broom stick. What a bloody terrible coincidence!'
Lodhi is accused of planning to bomb various sites around Sydney including Electricity substations and defence sites.
The defence asked why he had notes of how to make bombs lying around his house. According to his solicitor, Mr Boulten, he is just the inquisitive type:
"He was curious when he saw the information, perhaps foolishly he was interested," Mr Boulten said. "He, for no particular purpose, was attracted to it and wrote the details down. He had never subsequently paid attention to these notes."
Yeah, I must say it's a common thing for me too. In the midst of my Google searches for Paris Hilton and Britney I often stumble across sites like www.blowuptheinfadels.com where I accidentally come across instructions on how to make up bombs. And you know what I did upon hitting these sites? Well, the only logical thing that came to mind was to write the instructions and recipes down - why? Well, I'm just that kinda guy, I like things to be recorded and written down. Call it OCD if you will. No other reason, I promise.
When asked why he had a mobile phone account in a false name, Mr Lodhi stated that there was nothing untoward in this and doing such a thing was merely a 'bad habit' of Pakistani people. Eh?Picking your nose is a bad habit, biting your nails is a bad habit, smoking is a bad habit. But deliberately setting up a mobile phone account in a false name? That's a bad habit? I can just imagine it: 'Sorry Mr Vodafone, but everytime I fill in a contract I just can't help putting down a false name - I've tried everything - patches, hypnotism, I've even read "Allen Carr's Easyway to stop lying on Mobile Phone Contracts". But I just can't help it!'
And today comes the news that he lied about his name on various communications and of course it was just a mistake. Come on prosecutors - give the guy a break - everyone forgets their own name from time to time. I've lost count the amount of times I've called myself Dave or Simon or Martin. It's so easily done. Haven't you done it before? You haven't? Seriously? Shit.
I think the defence argument in this case is as strong as that expressed by men who go to Casualty with a broom sticks stuck up their arses. 'What happened?' asks the Nurse, "Well', replies the man', I was walking around naked and blow me but I fell over and landed straight on this lubricated broom stick. What a bloody terrible coincidence!'
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Go Paris! Down with Pink!
Kaka Mak puts up a spirited defence of Paris Hilton.
She says that many people dislike Paris because she is a 'whore'. Erm, that's exactly the reason why I like her! ha ha
Via: Erza Klein
She says that many people dislike Paris because she is a 'whore'. Erm, that's exactly the reason why I like her! ha ha
Via: Erza Klein
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Big Bros Antics
Michael was unveiled on Big Brother last night as Big Brother's 'insider'. If you haven't been watching Big Brother then I won't bore you with the details of what that involved or what it means since you clearly won't give a flying monkeys about it. I suggest you probably stop reading now in fact.
However, for the rest of you, I'll continue.
Now, you'd think in a competitive gameshow environment that the housemates would have forgiven Michael for the tricks he played on them as the insider as he had no choice in the matter (do it or be evicted). However, some of them completely lost the plot and there were more tears shed in the house than there were in my back garden when England lost to Argentina in 1998. WTF? Are these bunch of morons so emotionally retarded that they cannot cope with the fact that someone manipulated them in A GAME SHOW - And through no fault of his own I may add.
David looked like he'd just seen his Mum get buggered by Steve Irwin as he sulked his way through the evening and proclaimed that people like Michael were the reason why he lived 5 hours drive from Brisbane in the middle of nowhere. Well good! I'm glad you live out there you pathetic excuse for a human being. What good would you be in a city anyway? You probably couldn't cope with more than two cars being on the road at one time and would have a nervous breakdown everytime someone asked you for some spare change to feed their smack addiction.
Anna, the uber-bitch, also started blubbing like the snivelling little cow she is as she explained that Michael's fabricated story about custody of his 'child' was emotionally damaging to her as she never grew up with a dad either. Oh dear. Anna, yes you, stupid blonde bitch in the corner - IT"S A GAME SHOW - HE HAD TO DO IT. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ANNOYING BINT.
Krystal, the daughter of 'hippy' Karen, who likes to spend 6 hours a day trying to make herself look as unattractive as possible also joined in on the moral pontification saying '"He was already being annoying enough! It's such a sensitive topic, for me who never met my father." What else is a sensitive subject for you? Maybe that your fake tits DON'T make you interesting, that you apply 15 tonnes of slap to your face every day in a vain attempt to look attractive (fuck, this girl puts on new make up when she has a shit) or that you are a bland, boring, uninspiring retard. I reckon the fence outside my house has more opinions than you do.
But saying that, some people did act appropriately and honorable mentions must go to John, Gaelan and Katie. Who all appear not to have had their sense of perspective and humour removed from their brains before entering the house.
As for Michael, yeah I still think he's a cunt. But a cunt I now feel a little sorry for.
Iran Football
The Nation's David Zirn and John Cox report on a disgraceful attempt by conservatives to try and prevent football mad Iran from going to the World Cup in Germany... They correctly point out that if any country should be banned from going, due to their leader's belligerent attitude towards world affairs, surely that country should be the US of A. After all, they are the ones who launched an illegal war based on lies - when was the last time Iran did that?
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Robbie Rooting A Toff
Tara Palmer Tomkinson has been shagging Robbie Williams. My wife will be very jealous indeed...
Monday, May 15, 2006
Tabloid Hysteria
Friday, May 12, 2006
Cats with like, stuff on them....
Check out this completely mad website called stuffonmycat.com
Here's a taste of what's in store for you...
Here's a taste of what's in store for you...
Mum at 12
There are many things that could be written in jest about this but it really is a very sad story.
Choice quote:
'Yesterday she told how she took up drinking at just ten — sometimes downing a potent cocktail of Buckfast and vodka on nights out.
Choice quote:
'Yesterday she told how she took up drinking at just ten — sometimes downing a potent cocktail of Buckfast and vodka on nights out.
She said: “I can give up smoking at any time, but I don’t find it affects my pregnancy. I also don’t drink any more.”'
Very sad indeed....
Source: The Sun
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